Tuesday 2 February 2016

My Sexuality

My Sexuality
People in the Western hemisphere regard sexuality concept as separate from marriage and reproduction. Actually, it is impossible to conduct an analysis of sexuality without referring to the cultural, political and economic matrix as is embedded. It is true that the sex idea conflates disparate regions; the unity emerges as a causal principle. This way, sex can constitute a form of explanation. 
To possess a sexual identity, an individual should be a sexual being. It seems to me that scientists and other scholars take for granted the fact that all creatures are sexual, even at a tender age. The case of humanity is different: a person can make a non-sexuality choice. Still he/she will be classified as a sexual person that made a choice to disregard his sexual activity. If this claim is true, then I am a sexual being. In my case, the identity is not fixed. In fact, I have a malleable identity than I am able to adapt and influence internally as per the surroundings. I have learned over the years that personal sexual desires seem to grow, evolve and change.  Thus, giving them a single and specified classification is a limitation and withholding of information about the whole story (Monro et al 104).  This is what sexologist usually does as they conduct classification of individuals as per their sexual orientation.
How I define Sexual Identity
If sexuality should be based on whom a person have a sexual contact with, there is none in my case. Should this make me asexual? If or when I feel an attraction to men do not imply that I have a physical willingness to participate in a sexual activity with them. However, it is highly possible that I would more likely have a sexual contact with a female partner. 
The rigid sexual identity concept confirms lines that separate genders. The universal rule seems to be that a man sleeps with a woman. If an individual is a male, another male or anyone for that matter can never penetrate him. A transgression of this rule is condemnable.
I have a strong personal conviction that the available media fail to represent desires of the transgendered people: they do not have enough discussions of it. Non-transgendered people should seek to understand the minority. Though I hate classification, I could fit in the transgendered fans category.
Gender Identity
I hesitate to stick to the rigid gender identities. I don't refuse to be a man and never want to adopt being a woman. I am not a feminine man and certainly do not want to be an overly masculine man, maybe I won’t mind being the latter. At my current life stage, I may be finding it hard to express it literally, but I do in my mind to run away from the suffocation imposed on me, as I have been pinned down to a particular diameter because of my physical sexuality.
Tracing it back to my childhood, I realized at a young age that what they were telling us about woman or man prototypes were not real. Thus, whole my life, I am in a constant search for ‘the real’. My mother did it too: she longed for real life ideals but ended up with something else. Most probably, gender Identity plays a wider role in my sexuality struggles.
Factors that Influenced my Sexuality
Family, Culture, and Society
My parents gave me a sexual education that was unclear and vague. As I can recall, my parents told my siblings and me that any sexual activity with should not happen until marriage. Virginity was highly regarded but today, the values have deteriorated. I remember how my mother had a conversation about how her blood and pain during the first night of her marriage. She narrated how she was relieved in the end that the membrane was gone. 
I have a feeling that the elements on all sexuality matters were not divulged fully to me resulted in sideline the major issue.  Until this day, I have subverted reasons why I choose not to be or to be sexually active. Resultantly, I fear that my sexuality won’t reveal in the public. 
Shame and Natural Experiences
I had a few sexual experiences when I was really young. Two of them resulted in my parents punishing me. In the first case, I was 9 years old and playing with cousins and neighbors. When my parents found out, I felt that they humiliated me. They shamed me in front of my peers. The second case happened when I was in Europe.  I met with an individual that I have a charged relationship to this day. Back then, I was 17 years old.  I think that the absence of my parents made it a perfect environment to start a relationship. I felt relieved.
I cannot deny that there are numerous conflicting forces in me.One of them love, respects and accepts my sexuality. On the other hand, there is another that shows absolute disrespect and views it as a nonessential part of my life and me.  The two forces mingle with the environmental factors to influence my perceptions concerning my sexuality (Greenberg et al. 75).
Works Cited
Greenberg, Jerrold S., Clint E. Bruess, and Sara B. Oswalt. Exploring the Dimensions of Human Sexuality. Burlington: Jones & Bartlett Publishers, 2014: 48-136.Print.

Monro, Surya, and Diane Richardson. "Intersectionality and sexuality: The case of sexuality and transgender equalities work in UK local government."Theorizing Intersectionality and Sexuality (2010): 99-118.

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