My
Sexuality
People
in the Western hemisphere regard sexuality concept as separate from marriage
and reproduction. Actually, it is impossible to conduct an analysis of
sexuality without referring to the cultural, political and economic matrix as
is embedded. It is true that the sex idea conflates disparate regions; the
unity emerges as a causal principle. This way, sex can constitute a form of
explanation.
To
possess a sexual identity, an individual should be a sexual being. It seems to
me that scientists and other scholars take for granted the fact that all
creatures are sexual, even at a tender age. The case of humanity is different:
a person can make a non-sexuality choice. Still he/she will be classified as a
sexual person that made a choice to disregard his sexual activity. If this
claim is true, then I am a sexual being. In my case, the identity is not fixed.
In fact, I have a malleable identity than I am able to adapt and influence
internally as per the surroundings. I have learned over the years that personal
sexual desires seem to grow, evolve and change.
Thus, giving them a single and specified classification is a limitation
and withholding of information about the whole story (Monro et al 104). This is what sexologist usually does as they
conduct classification of individuals as per their sexual orientation.
How
I define Sexual Identity
If
sexuality should be based on whom a person have a sexual contact with, there is
none in my case. Should this make me asexual? If or when I feel an attraction
to men do not imply that I have a physical willingness to participate in a
sexual activity with them. However, it is highly possible that I would more
likely have a sexual contact with a female partner.
The
rigid sexual identity concept confirms lines that separate genders. The
universal rule seems to be that a man sleeps with a woman. If an individual is
a male, another male or anyone for that matter can never penetrate him. A
transgression of this rule is condemnable.
I
have a strong personal conviction that the available media fail to represent
desires of the transgendered people: they do not have enough discussions of it.
Non-transgendered people should seek to understand the minority. Though I hate
classification, I could fit in the transgendered fans category.
Gender
Identity
I
hesitate to stick to the rigid gender identities. I don't refuse to be a man
and never want to adopt being a woman. I am not a feminine man and certainly do
not want to be an overly masculine man, maybe I won’t mind being the latter. At
my current life stage, I may be finding it hard to express it literally, but I
do in my mind to run away from the suffocation imposed on me, as I have been
pinned down to a particular diameter because of my physical sexuality.
Tracing
it back to my childhood, I realized at a young age that what they were telling
us about woman or man prototypes were not real. Thus, whole my life, I am in a
constant search for ‘the real’. My mother did it too: she longed for real life ideals
but ended up with something else. Most probably, gender Identity plays a wider
role in my sexuality struggles.
Factors
that Influenced my Sexuality
Family,
Culture, and Society
My
parents gave me a sexual education that was unclear and vague. As I can recall,
my parents told my siblings and me that any sexual activity with should not
happen until marriage. Virginity was highly regarded but today, the values have
deteriorated. I remember how my mother had a conversation about how her blood
and pain during the first night of her marriage. She narrated how she was
relieved in the end that the membrane was gone.
I
have a feeling that the elements on all sexuality matters were not divulged
fully to me resulted in sideline the major issue. Until this day, I have subverted reasons why
I choose not to be or to be sexually active. Resultantly, I fear that my
sexuality won’t reveal in the public.
Shame
and Natural Experiences
I
had a few sexual experiences when I was really young. Two of them resulted in
my parents punishing me. In the first case, I was 9 years old and playing with
cousins and neighbors. When my parents found out, I felt that they humiliated
me. They shamed me in front of my peers. The second case happened when I was in
Europe .
I met with an individual that I have a charged relationship to this day.
Back then, I was 17 years old. I think
that the absence of my parents made it a perfect environment to start a
relationship. I felt relieved.
I
cannot deny that there are numerous conflicting forces in me.One of them love,
respects and accepts my sexuality. On the other hand, there is another that
shows absolute disrespect and views it as a nonessential part of my life and
me. The two forces mingle with the
environmental factors to influence my perceptions concerning my sexuality
(Greenberg et al. 75).
Works Cited
Greenberg, Jerrold
S. , Clint E. Bruess , and Sara B.
Oswalt Burlington
Monro, Surya, and Diane Richardson UK
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